After two victories on a trot, ‘Team Square Hooks’ goes into the ‘Poona Piss Wrecks’ tournament with supreme confidence. For top honor, our biggest competition will come from the always unpredictable ‘Team Domin8’. Team Domin8 has proved to be tough competition in past years, however, a lack of game time will no doubt result in reduced match fitness, particularly compared to the well oiled machine that is Team Square Hooks.
The comical ‘Team Cuttin Schmick’ comes off back to back embarrassing performances. This team needs to lift its game and find a balance between fishing, drinking and shitting in jars and putting them in crabpots….. we’re talking about catching fish here, not herpies! This team should be awarded with the title of ‘gayest ABFT name’. Some ABFT members (past and present) have labeled them as “getting too commercial and it’s not in the spirit of the ABFT to change the previously respectable name, ‘Team Nasal Delivery’. Members of the public have emailed us in a list of possible names for them to revert to, they consists of: Team Goofy; Team Smegma; The Anal bleachers; The Shit Dicks and most fitting, Team Oxygen Thieves.
With a new arrival of some fresh grommets in Team Bentrod, we have a possible dark horse in the fishing stakes, but let’s be honest, a team that needs the Captain’s missus to make their team logo really has to take a good look at themselves. Unofficial reports say ALL 3 team members have wider ass holes than they fully open mouth. This has raised concern in the Team Cuttin Schmick that they will only just… ‘touch the sides’ of their ring holes.
Whilst Team Square Hooks is confident in wrapping up all of the ‘important’ awards there is some cause of concern. With some admittedly recent poor form on the piss sinking front, the Square Hooks team has been putting in some training time to ensure that they can mix it with the likes of Team Cuttin Schmick. Team Cuttin Schmick, has always been and will be in hot contention for the Prestigous ‘Dog Award’ (Drunkest on Ground), however Team Bentrod has talked a big game in their abilities to sink ‘BULK PISS’, get naked, and get stupid!!! The Team Captain of Team Bentrod (Young Cronin) has openly admitted on more than one occasion that one of his life long ambitions is to get so blind that he looses all control of bodily functions to the point where he shits himself. I must admit, that is commitment and in the Spirit of ABFT. In summation, Team Square Hooks, with the aid of a few secret weapons, is feeling confident of making it three in a row and will be happy to pass on the Elton John award to a more deserving team. Team Square Hooks, number one on the water baby!
Yours faithfully
Shaun Cronin and Trent Kirk
The comical ‘Team Cuttin Schmick’ comes off back to back embarrassing performances. This team needs to lift its game and find a balance between fishing, drinking and shitting in jars and putting them in crabpots….. we’re talking about catching fish here, not herpies! This team should be awarded with the title of ‘gayest ABFT name’. Some ABFT members (past and present) have labeled them as “getting too commercial and it’s not in the spirit of the ABFT to change the previously respectable name, ‘Team Nasal Delivery’. Members of the public have emailed us in a list of possible names for them to revert to, they consists of: Team Goofy; Team Smegma; The Anal bleachers; The Shit Dicks and most fitting, Team Oxygen Thieves.
With a new arrival of some fresh grommets in Team Bentrod, we have a possible dark horse in the fishing stakes, but let’s be honest, a team that needs the Captain’s missus to make their team logo really has to take a good look at themselves. Unofficial reports say ALL 3 team members have wider ass holes than they fully open mouth. This has raised concern in the Team Cuttin Schmick that they will only just… ‘touch the sides’ of their ring holes.
Whilst Team Square Hooks is confident in wrapping up all of the ‘important’ awards there is some cause of concern. With some admittedly recent poor form on the piss sinking front, the Square Hooks team has been putting in some training time to ensure that they can mix it with the likes of Team Cuttin Schmick. Team Cuttin Schmick, has always been and will be in hot contention for the Prestigous ‘Dog Award’ (Drunkest on Ground), however Team Bentrod has talked a big game in their abilities to sink ‘BULK PISS’, get naked, and get stupid!!! The Team Captain of Team Bentrod (Young Cronin) has openly admitted on more than one occasion that one of his life long ambitions is to get so blind that he looses all control of bodily functions to the point where he shits himself. I must admit, that is commitment and in the Spirit of ABFT. In summation, Team Square Hooks, with the aid of a few secret weapons, is feeling confident of making it three in a row and will be happy to pass on the Elton John award to a more deserving team. Team Square Hooks, number one on the water baby!
Yours faithfully
Shaun Cronin and Trent Kirk
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